August 12, 2006 - Bad Weather Day Distraction Options

[Jason_Petula]

Bad Weather Day Distraction

It was late at night
in my sleeping bag zipped tight
when I awoke to a clue
that there was a need to go number two.

Into the freezing rain I emerged from the tent
and off to the Caribou Lounge I went.
The icy lid opened with a thump
and on the bucket I sat my quite frozen rump.

My business was temporarily put on hold
when I noticed someone was being mischievously bold.
The bush rattled and swayed to my right
as I waited for the prankster to emerge into sight

What happened next is no fib,
for I filled the bucket right to the lid!
In disbelief without blinking my eyes did stare
at a real Alaskan massive brown bear.

I backed from the lounge not making a sound
until I tripped down the hill with my pants still down.
My yells forced others from their restful sleep
and out of their tents their heads did peep.

Their laughter quickly changed to worry
Seeing the bear rolling in a poop-sicle slurry
I used this moment to recover from the stun
and retreated to camp to get my gun.

First we yelled and banged sticks with great alarm.
The goal was to scare the bear and ado him no harm.
The big burly fellow just gave us a wink
and kept rolling in the nasty pile of stink.

The bear finally fled from an unlikely hero,
an Italian paleontologist who was no more than five foot zero.
He chased the grizzly with shovel in hand
to a place we now call Tony’s Almost Last Stand.

After we huddled together to relive the tail
and embellish a little we did without a fail.
But then we were all hit with an even more unimaginable fear,
that darn bear had stolen our beer.


A view of the Caribou Lounge. It is a slightly chilly but boasts a beautiful view.


This footprint had smaller footprints adjacent to it. Possibly a mother and her cub.

[admin]

This is the sort of poetry that will you earn you distinction and accolades worthy of a pullitzer...or a room with padded walls.